Lifestyle

Counselling gives couples good start

Don't be blinded by love – there are many issues you should consider discussing before you get married.
Don't be blinded by love – there are many issues you should consider discussing before you get married. Contributed

FRANK Sinatra may have sung that love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage but, according to Relationships Australia, making sure your horse and cart are compatible in the first instance is often the answer to ensuring a lengthy trot.

Relationships Australia senior clinical leader Diana Sayer said regardless of whether couples were getting married for the first or third time or even just moving in together, ironing out potential disagreements through pre-marriage counselling could save a lot of hurdles down the track.

"The main thing we find is it opens up the communication," she said.

"Sometimes couples go into the next stage of the relationship where they have this rose-coloured view of the relationship."

Ms Sayer said there were a vast number of factors to consider in any relationship before taking things to the next level.

She said there were often differences between couples that might not even come to light until both partners were under the one roof.

"It's really about identifying what those differences are and talking through them," she said.

"We find some of the main reasons for couples separating are values and beliefs.

"Counselling puts those things on the table in the beginning."

Ms Sayer said the point of identifying differences between couples in pre-marriage counselling was to learn to work around potential issues, rather than one person in the relationship feeling the need to change for the other.

"Things that can come between couples are their ideas on parenting and how they see themselves with children," she said.

"People's attitudes towards sex is also something that can cause problems in the future of a relationship."

Ms Sayer said the Relationships Australia FOCCUS pre-marriage program had been counselling couples for about 30 years.

"It's not to say couples won't have problems later on, but it's very beneficial in the longer term," she said.

 

Things to talk about

  • Desire for children, or lack of
  • Career plans
  • Home location
  • Finance
  • Attitude to sex
  • Cultural or religious differences
  • Time spent with friends and family
  • Expectations for closed or open relationships
  • Attitudes to drug and/or alcohol use
  • Personal values

 

>> Read more lifestyle stories

Topics:  counselling, lifestyle, love, marriage, relationships australia




New cafe, fast food outlet for Warwick?

NEW SHOPS: The block on the corner of Albion and Fitzroy Sts is about to get a makeover.

Food and drink outlet and offices for prime Warwick block

One injured after Ballandean paddock fire

Emergency services attended a paddock fire in Ballandean on Thursday afternoon.

One person treated after paddock fire in Ballandean

'Dramatic scenes': Woman had a hand in hotel lockdown, police say

LOCKDOWN: These dramatic scenes unfolded on Palmerin St in June.

Man allegedly behind The Criterion Hotel lockdown heard in court.

Latest deals and offers

Rob Kardashian 'neglected' by Blac Chyna

Friends say they are now 'back in love'

Isla Fisher: I don't like talking about my private life

Isla Fisher shut down TV hosts when they asked about her husband

Mariah Carey: I 'can't believe' Prince has gone

'Prince was one of the best people I've met'

Joe Jonas' 'tough' pals

Joe Jonas' pals are 'tough' with his potential partners

The Bachelor wash up: bacon, plank offs and that white rose

Richie Strahan, second from left, with bachelorettes Eliza, Faith, Noni and Janey in a scene from episode one of the fourth season of The Bachelor.

RICHIE Strahan meets some beautiful, and colourful, bachelorettes.

You can own this Queensland town for just $1

Yelarbon

Unprecedented auction of town's business centre with no reserve

Work starts on $15M Caloundra apartment building

Turning the first sod at the Aqua View Apartments site in Kings Beach are (from left) husband-and-wife developers Alex Yuan and Stella Sun with construction company Tomkins director Mike Tomkins and Councillor Tim Dwyer.

Developers excited about addition to Kings Beach skyline

72-year-old Coast developer set to start new project

GREEN LIGHT: The Cosmopolitan has been approved for development at Cotton Tree.

Meet the Canberran set to deliver another chapter for Coast suburb

Plans revealed for 1500-lot 'master-planned community'

Precinct will be bounded by Boundary St and Shoesmith Rd

Ecco Ripley sales run sparks prime release

MOVING IN: Sekisui House has announced the release of more residential blocks at Ecco Ripley.

Sekisui House is preparing to unveil more land at Ecco Ripley

The climb is slow but property on the way up

Michael Matusik, director of Matusik Property Insights.Photo Allan Reinikka / The Morning Bulletin

The improvement would be mild when compared to past cycles