Lifestyle

They're off with the pixels

GOVERNMENTS are set to approve the use of new technology that allows people to blur their faces in public to avoid being recognised or recorded by spy cameras.

The revolutionary device allows humans to go into "pixilation mode" with the flick of a switch when they are out in public. Another switch will allow them to disguise their voices, replacing their normal tone with a voice akin to the Doctor Who Daleks.

The move will help media outlets comply with privacy laws that prevent them identifying criminals, relatives, people charged with particular offences, elite soldiers, spies, people filmed without permission, welfare cheats in government-supplied footage, children who aren't in US beauty pageants and licence plates.

The new technology creates a pixilation field in front of a human face that leaves their features blurred and fairly freaky looking.

Approval of the technology came hot on the heels of mega website YouTubed allowing its videos to be automatically pixilated to avoid chronic international embarrassment for people who upload really bad songs.

Privacy expert Ben Sleuth said humans were now constantly tracked by public cameras, GPS on their phones, monitoring of their social media accounts and stalkers, so it was inevitable they would find ways to avoid surveillance.

"We are finally saying that we are proud individuals and we demand our right to stand up and be counted in a blurred and anonymous fashion," he said. "In a world starved of privacy, pixilation is the new black."

Social commentator Bernard Sykes said the pixilation technology was the beginning of the era of the generic human being.

"It seems that the only way we will be able to protect our identities is to have a generic blurred face, to dress like everybody else and to all use Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie as our Facebook profile picture," he said.

"Eventually we will learn to talk the same and people of both sexes will all be named Sandy."

Children's watchdog groups said they were concerned that children might be traumatised by seeing pixilated faces in the street and start having bad dreams.

A government spokesperson said the government was not concerned about this.

"Frankly it's time the little buggers manned up and got off the couch and played in the dirt," he said.

"The clear message from this government is toughen up."

Thirsty Cow is fiction. It should not be confused with real life, real issues or getting real.

 

>> To read more lifestyle stories

Topics:  humour, lifestyle, opinion, security, technology, thirsty cow




Southern Downs council calls on locals for bridge names

BRIDGING THE GAP: Southern Downs councillors are calling on locals to help name four new bridges in the region.

Southern Downs councillors calls for community help to name bridges

Bikie Laws: MP compares bikie logos to burqas

Outlaw motorcycle gang colours and logos would be outlawed under the proposed changes.

"Are you going to become the fashion police?"

More Warwick drivers busted

Police officers conducting a random breath test operation.

Drivers on the wrong side of the law.

Latest deals and offers

Willy Wonka star, Gene Wilder dead at 83

A still of Gene Wilder in the 1971 film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Social media has already lit up with tributes to the late actor.

Gladstone couple's spontaneous Gympie Muster wedding

Craig Oglesby and Brenda Strong celebrate their wedding at the Gympie Muster with punters in front of the Main Stage.

The Gympie Music Muster was the perfect place for a wedding.

Australian Survivor's Peter: I'm no quitter

Australian Survivor contestant Peter Fiegehen.

ILLNESS forces castaway's early exit from Samoa.

Diva's sister on soliciting charge

FILE - In this May 14, 2016 file photo, Mariah Carey attends the 27th Annual GLAAD Media Awards, in New York. Carey will appear on the Oct. 5 episode of the Fox series, \"Empire,\" the network confirmed Monday at a TV critics bi-annual press tour. (Photo by Charles Sykes/Invision/AP, File)

Mariah Carey's sister has been arrested on charges of prostitution.

Tom Cruise private jets his gym kit around the world

Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise charters private to take his gym kit around the world

Movie behind Depp and Heard split to be released

Soon you'll be able to see the movie that ended the marriage

Palm Lake Resort set to move in to Coast with 276 villas

Palm Lake Group has been given approval by Sunshine Coast Council to build a 276-villa over 50s resort and 120-bed aged care facility at the intersection of Caloundra Rd and Caloundra Mooloolaba Rd in Little Mountain.

New facility planned for Caloundra Rd

Warning for unit investors with price plummet prediction

The warning signs are flashing for one real estate sector in 2017 despite others performing the best they have in years and it's not going to be pretty.

One real estate sector looks set for a rocky 2017

REVEALED: Pat Rafter's $18m Coast house on the market

Check out the photos of the Coast's most expensive property for sale

The "correction we had to have" in Gladstone's rentals

UPWARD MARCH: The rental vacancy rate in Gladstone has improved for the first time in more than a year, providing a confidence boost in the market.

Vacancy rates improve with signs that things are getting betterF

ISLAND FOR SALE: Cheap Fraser Coast island drops price again

Suna Island in the Great Sandy Strait will be auctioned by Ray White Hervey Bay on Saturday morning.

This is the cheapest island you will find for sale in Australia

How a family home can fit on a 250sq m block

This is what you can build on 250m2.

Here's the floor plan of a home built on 250sq m