Bad news for hairy hipsters, beards are on the way out
HIPSTERS of the world, you've been warned.
Your finely finessed facial fuzz is about to become passe.
A fashion has-been.
Yep, those beards you're so proud of are on the way out and moustaches are about to become the next big thing in facial follicle fashion.
That's the good beard oil from Harrison Mallory, who owns Scumbags Barber in Noosaville with his wife Ashleigh.
And he knows what he's talking about. Not only does he own a barber shop, he's got a decent beard himself.
So good, it's earnt him a spot in next month's American National Beard and Moustache Championships in New York.
The titles will attract hirsute heroes from around the world to contest 27 categories, with Harrison lining up in the "Verdi" section for 10cm symmetrical beards with a "big twisty moustache".
You'd think a bearded bloke like Harrison would be upset that beards are on the way out but he classes himself as a true beard lover, as opposed to the hipsters who have jumped on the beard bandwagon.
Beard or clean shaven? Which do you prefer?
This poll ended on 29 October 2015.
Beard. Love a good, hairy chin.
Shave it off! Smooth skin is better.
Why does everyone care so much about whether men have beards or not?
This is not a scientific poll. The results reflect only the opinions of those who chose to participate.
"Beards will always be special to people like me but for the hipsters who treat them as a fashion accessory, they're on the way out," he predicted.
And Harrison has well and truly earnt his stripes - he once lost a job because he refused to shave off his beard.
"I was working in a corporate role where the rule was we couldn't have more than 2cm of facial hair," he said.
"I got three warnings to cut it off but it's part of who I am, so I refused.
"They were about to sack me but I went ahead and left anyway.
"I didn't want to work somewhere beards weren't welcome."
Scumbags even has its own code for "bearded brothers", including free beard trims with a haircut and a beer while in the chair.
"No appointments. A Scumbags brother likes his cut like his motorcycle - fast and stylish with a high quality finish," the code says.
"A Scumbag Brother realises his full beard potential - we shave necks, not faces."
Harrison predicts the hipster beard will be out of fashion before the end of the year but has a suggestion for anyone wanting to join the moustache brigade.
"Start growing a mo for Movember, so you're doing it for a good cause and you've got a month for the wife to get used to it," he suggests.
"By the time December gets here she'll love it and you'll be part of the new hipster movement."
- Verdi Beard: Length not to exceed 10 cm and round. Moustache may be styled.
- Garibaldi Beard: Broad, full and round. Length not to exceed 20cm, moustache integrated.
- Musketeer Beard: Moustache long and slender. Hairs are allowed to start growing from up to maximum of 1.5cm beyond the end of the upper lip. Beard small and pointed.