Boot up and say Ello
IT'S fair to state the main source of daily annoyance for human beings is other human beings. They're relentless in their vanity, cruelty, monotony, vulgarity and inadequacy, and yet social networks are dedicated to connecting us with as many of these dunderheads as possible.
No wonder the act of complaining about social media has become endemic, particularly on social media. You see, we have become weary of it.
The idea of "connecting with new people" has started to make us shudder with horror, and as a result we've found ourselves forced to take emergency measures. We block, we filter, we mute, and, in extreme cases, we flounce. And boy, flouncing feels good.
The people we've flounced away from might think that we're being excessively uppity, but as a way of unburdening ourselves from annoying behaviour and starting afresh, it can't be beaten. And look, this seems like the perfect place to start afresh: a new(ish) social network called Ello.
Ello is not Facebook and it's not Twitter, and for many people that's enough to sell them the idea.
Its aims are wholesome: you won't find ads on the service (it aims to pay for itself by selling premium features, whatever they may turn out to be), your behaviour won't be tracked (although it does use anonymised analytics to help improve the service) and you can call yourself whatever the hell you like.
In the aftermath of a recent furore surrounding Facebook forbidding transgender people and drag performers from using pseudonyms, Ello became the place for them to flee to, and since then a word-of-mouth process has prompted a huge number of sign-ups.
Human beings are annoying, and human beings are perpetually appearing on the horizon. Escape is useless. Resistance is futile. Articles entitled The 20 Things Your Most Annoying Friends Do on Ello may only be months away.