City in-law cops a ribbing
MOST Christmases we pack up and head to the beach where I grew up for the traditional family thing.
But, with a new baby on the way, everyone in the family is coming to Warwick this year for Christmas, including my wife's sister's husband, Dave.
Wags is a third-generation dairy farmer and cattle producer and as dry as a pommy's towel.
I am ashamed to say my brother-in-law is in the quintessential city boy, having grown up around Penrith, in Sydney, his whole life.
He doesn't shy away from the stereotype at all: He drives a fully sick WRS, uses more product than Michael Clark and loves his white pointy shoes.
Don't get me wrong, Dave is a great bloke, other than being a St George supporter.
And he is great to have a beer with and tell a story or two, but he is a bit funny in the head.
I knew there wasn't something quite right on the first night we got to meet him at the local pub.
I got there early with my wife's grandfather, Wags, a third-generation dairy farmer and cattle producer, who is a dry as a pommy's towel.
We were then introduced to City Boy.
I did the right thing and asked "do you blokes want a beer"?
Wags piped up "schooner of New" and "hurry up you pen pusher".
Then Dave comes out with "can I have a Corona with a slice of lemon in it?"
Old Wags almost fell off his chair.
Then he looked at me and said: "I wonder if he realises it's a beer not a slice of fish."
Dave's been part of the family for 10 years or so but still remains a centre of most of the good jokes at Christmas.
Every year Wags and I try to outdo ourselves buying him a present.
One year I bought him a Manly Sea Eagles dress shirt, only to be outdone by a set of ear tags.
So I have started to plan for this year's present being on my home ground.
The short list so far is:
- Shoulder-length insemination gloves;
- Castration ring applicator;
- Stock prodder; and
- Membership to the Warwick Cowboys.
All jokes aside, I'm looking forward to a Christmas out at Brookvale Downs and not having to travel 400km back and forth and eating the good produce that only the Southern Downs produces.
I hope everyone enjoys the Christmas period and we win the test series.