No great story ever started with 'after Jim had his fifth chai latte'.
No great story ever started with 'after Jim had his fifth chai latte'. Lisa Williams

Enough piercings to look like you've fallen in a tackle box

NOW that I am moving closer to 50 than 18, I realise I have become a cranky old man.

Little things have started to bother me and I find myself getting more irritated than Alan Jones at an union rally.

I have narrowed it down to a few points:

Piercings - there is nothing wrong with a few piercings but, when you start to look like you have fallen in a tackle box, you might start to think maybe I have a few too many.

Tattoos - I prefer them on the type of people who live on an island and point at planes.

But unless you are riding with the Bandidos, you should to ask yourself do I really need more ink than Bic headquarters.

Two lines which I have never heard "that southern cross on your back looks awesome" or "I hired you for your great face tatt".

Justin Bieber comb overs - when did using more hair product than your missus become cool?

Or when did matching a long fringe with pink jeans get you all the ladies?

Mid-strength spirits - can anyone tell me the point of mid-strength spirits other than to keep the coppers and my wife happy?

Blokes that don't drink - no great story has ever started with "after Jim had his fifth chai latte".

Salads at hamburger joints - If I was looking to be healthy, would I be going through the drive-through to start with? Please give me something that has more calories than an Ethiopian has in a year.

Jockeys and fishing inspectors - all out to cost me money.

Everything week - Every single week now has to have a title - Septic Tank Week, Fluffy Dice Week, Long Grass Week. Enough is enough.

Cyclists - the real ones are fantastic athletes or a few blokes trying to get fit is fine.

But the ones that annoy me are the blokes, who spend $1000 on lycra and just ride to the coffee shop and back.



Rare regal honour bestowed upon Scout

premium_icon Rare regal honour bestowed upon Scout

Warwick teen spent three years working for this prestigious title

A Warwick rose by any other name...

A Warwick rose by any other name...

Local expert debunks the mystery behind the Glengallan Rose

Local Partners