Lifestyle

Global antics of the aged

THEY let Brij Bihari Pandey out of jail this week, but he was not celebrating.

Mr Pandey was not doing a great deal actually, because at 108 he is so frail he is unable to walk.

Relatives carried the Hindu priest from the Gorakhpur prison in India after the jail authorities decided there was little point in locking him away for any longer.

In fact, they asked his family to come and get him because it was becoming increasingly difficult to take care of him and provide the medical treatment required to keep him alive.

Mr Pandey was convicted of murder in 2009, when he was already 106, and given a life sentence for his part in the killing of four people in a religious row. The trial lasted for more than 20 years. He had been a mere 84 when the crime took place

And we think that the wheels of justice in Australia grind slowly.

While the subject is inappropriate treatment of the elderly, a British nursing home has apologised after placing a tambourine in a day room to be used in case of an emergency.

Staff at the home in Cardiff also put a pair of maracas in the room in case the tambourine broke.

A fuming relative said, "It's ridiculous. These people are pensioners, not Mick Jagger (conveniently ignoring that Jagger is old enough to claim the old age pension in the UK).

"Where is the dignity in asking old and frail people to bash on a tambourine if they are in trouble?"

The home issued a statement indicating the tambourine had replaced a hand bell which some of the residents could not lift.

Over in Spain this week, marchers wearing adult-sized nappies took to the streets of Valencia to protest against government spending cuts and high unemployment.

The nappy-wearers blame bankers and politicians for Spain's diabolical economic woes, although I am not sure I can see a clear link between their grievance and their manner of complaining.

That's Spain for you.

Personally I would have rather been in Prague where once again there is a Russian tank in the main square.

Those who are old enough will recall the image of Czech protestors defiantly blocking the progress of Soviet tanks through their beautiful capital in 1968.

This time the tank is pink and marks the 20th anniversary of the Russian troops leaving the country as the Soviet Union dissolved and eastern bloc nations regained their freedom.

Finally, it is back to Blighty where the locals love an excuse to divest themselves of their clothes.

When there is also a chance to break a world record, the lure is irresistible.

That is why hundreds stripped off and ran into the freezing Irish Sea, breaking the record for a mass skinny dip and raising about $20,000 for charity.

Almost 400 spent at least 10 minutes in the chilly briny in all their naked glory. And not a nappy in sight.

Alternative Universe is a weekly humour column.

Topics:  humour column opinion



10 best street art spots to take an Insta selfie

IF YOU are in need of a few trendy new Instagram snaps, then get your phone and selfie-stick ready and head to Brisbane.

Where to find the best coffee

Strauss is known for its superb brew.

COFFEE snobbery is at an all-time high.

Theatre royalty graces Brisbane stage

Don't miss Charles Edwards in this incredible theatre performance.

WHEN acting royalty comes to town, you sit up and take notice.

Don’t go chasing waterfalls…find them on these drives!

The Scenic Rim is just one place nearby that you'll love.

BRISBANE isn’t all bright lights and city slickers.

Your boots are made for walking these tours

Brisbane Greeters tours are a great way to learn the local history of the city.

YOU don’t need a bike or bus for a seriously good tour of Brisbane.

Drink where the cool kids do this summer

There are a bunch of new bars open in Brisbane, make sure you're there!

CHECK out these new funky bars.

Discover Brisbane’s laneway gems

Brisbane's laneways will surprise you.

NOT all of Brisbane City is as it seems…

Women's achievements inspire at Warwick event

Sarah Elliott, Anna Hardy, Sarah Ogden and Sally Higgins enjoying the 2016 Women's Day breakfast.

Zonta Club invites all to celebrate International Women's Day

Help celebrate Aboriginal heritage

PROUD IDENTITY: Sharman Parsons with father David Parsons at the Bunya Festival stall during Jumpers and Jazz.

Head along to Maryvale for the Bunya Festival

A Warwick volunteer's unwavering passion

DEDICATION: Long-time volunteer and Warwick Show chairman John Wilson is excited to present the 150th show this year with the help of an incredible team of volunteers.

Meet Warwick Show chairman

Local Partners

Fancy dress tea party stirs up the past

EVER wanted to dress up in 19th century attire and don tails and a top hat or an ankle-sweeping dress with a petticoat and corset?


Help celebrate Aboriginal heritage

PROUD IDENTITY: Sharman Parsons with father David Parsons at the Bunya Festival stall during Jumpers and Jazz.

Head along to Maryvale for the Bunya Festival

REVIEW: Under the Gun doco looks at right to bear arms

ARMED: A still from the 2016 documentary film Under the Gun by Stephanie Soechtig.

An in-depth look into America's gun culture.

The true cause of the Oscars bungle

THE Oscars have ended with a moment that left everyone speechless — but not in a way anyone expected.

HUGE OSCARS FAIL: Wrong film handed Best Picture award

Presenter Warren Beatty shows the envelope with the actual winner for best picture as host Jimmy Kimmel, left, looks on at the Oscars on Sunday, Feb. 26, 2017, at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles. The winner was originally announced as La La Land, but was later corrected to Moonlight.

IN A monumental stuff-up, La La Land incorrectly named Best Picture.

Blue Heelers' Ditch Davey joins 800 Words cast

Ditch Davey joins the cast of 800 Words as Terry, the younger brother of George, played by Erik Thomson.

George Turner's brother, Terry, arrives to Weld with a 'few demons'

Oscars winners 2017: Full list of Academy Award winners

Viola Davis accepts the award for best actress in a supporting role for Fences at the Oscars on Sunday, Feb. 26, 2017, at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles.

WHO won Oscars this year? Here’s a full list of every winner.

Why can’t Nicole Kidman clap properly?

Nicole Kidman's style of clapping has puzzled Oscars viewers.

FOR some reason, it seems Nicole doesn’t really know how to clap.

Muslim actor makes Oscars history

Mahershala Ali accepts the award for best actor in a supporting role for Moonlight at the Oscars on Sunday, Feb. 26, 2017, at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles.

MOONLIGHT star Mahershala Ali makes Academy Award history.

NO ONE OFF LIMITS: Kimmel burns down the house at Oscars

Host Jimmy Kimmel speaks at the Oscars on Sunday, Feb. 26, 2017, at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles.

HOST delivers a torrent of abuse on Hollywood’s night of nights.

Mining homes dive: $600k homes sell for $120k-$300k

18 Yeates Street, Moranbah sold for $135,000 in December, after being repossessed by a bank. The owners bought for $545,000 in August, 2011.

The economy still has two speeds, but with a painful twist

Mackay's property market climbing like a Rocket Man

Renewed confidence in Mackay means more homes are being snapped up by those eager to plant their roots in the region.

There's movement in the real estate sector and it's all positive.

'Why we drove 800km to buy a treehouse with a disco ball'

The new owners have planned a few updates, but will stick with much of the original design.

A couple travelled almost 800km for the home of their dreams.

The trick homeowners are using to buy more properties

Chantelle Subritzky leaves her home each week for Airbnb guests.

Queenslanders are going down this path to help pay their mortgages

Stunning home blends South Pacific beauty with Orient style

Immaculate residence with two outdoor living areas

Ready to SELL your property?

Post Your Ad Here!