Sonny Bill Williams of the Roosters watches the NRL trial match between the Sydney Roosters and the Wests Tigers at Allianz Stadium on February 23, 2013 in Sydney, Australia.
Sonny Bill Williams of the Roosters watches the NRL trial match between the Sydney Roosters and the Wests Tigers at Allianz Stadium on February 23, 2013 in Sydney, Australia. Matt King / Getty Images

Have you heard the one about the Parramatta Eels?

THE NRL season is about to kick off and there is no better time of the year. I thought I would cast an eye over the chances for this year's in a series over the next two weeks.

 

Roosters - Money Bill spent most of his last season on NRL injured and I reckon this will happen again and his track record will fit in perfectly with other pillars of the community like Jake Friend.

Once again their squad reads like a menu from a Polynesian restaurant and with some rookie coach won't make the top 14.

 

Eels - This joke best describes Parra's chances.

The boy who has a history of being beaten by his parents was in court.

The judge initially awarded custody to his aunt. The boy said his aunt beat him more than his parents.

When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

The judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

The judge granted temporary custody to the Parramatta Eels Football team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

 

Titans - Bit of a soft spot for this team full of grubs.

Your daughter dating Miles or Bird would be worse than her dating a fishing inspector but I love how they play.

Better get shares in all the fast food outlets around Skilled Park with Dave Taylor now.

 

Dragons - They have two teams and still can't win a game.

Signed no one with a team full of players that would be flat out making the reggies for most other clubs.

Cooper and Weyman will play fewer games than even Terry Campese.

 

Broncos - The Broncos marketing department will need to sack someone, for the supporters' sake hopefully Peter Wallace, so they can go through another ploy like they did for Lockey and Sixty cents a Litre.

Hope Corey Parker kicks for them again against Manly in the first round.

 

Warriors - The Warriors have bigger props than Clive Palmer's new Titanic but like the ship seem to struggle on the way home.

The coach was unwanted as even an assistant at the Roosters and didn't do anything when at Penrith.

 

Rabbits - Their backline is older than Jesus and the inclusion of five minute Teo won't help.

 

Manly - The cleanest, most well liked most sportsmanlike team with the best looking supporters.

I think the bookies have got it wrong, the Sea Eagles should be standout favourites.

 

North Sydney - You still don't have a team because Manly shafted you.

Buy a box of tissues and keep putting candles on your shrine to Greg Florimo.

 

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