How to escape Valentine's Day in Warwick
FOR couples, February 14 is a day of loving and bragging on social media about how much their partner means to them.
However for lonely, single, desperates like myself, it's a day where you hope Cupid is struck down by his own arrow.
For those of us not tied down, here are some tips to get through this awful day.
SURVIVING THE DAY
Ignore the PDAs
People will think they're being cute by snogging their missus at a restaurant like you're back in sixth grade. It's disgusting. Stop it.
Social media is for memes
There is no doubt that couples will feel the uge to boast about having a partner on Instagram and Facebook instead of telling them the message they've posted on social media. Face-to-face interaction, what a novel concept.
Didn't get flowers from a secret admirer or a bottle of wine that you were expecting? Who cares. Buy yourself something you've had your eye on, or a pizza.
TV solves everybody's problems
If you ever think your situation is bad, just remember the chances are you have never been cheated on by someone on national television. Married At First Sight is a great morale booster.
FIVE SONGS FOR SINGLES
Forget You - Cee Lo Green
We're going with the censored version of this song dedicated to a former partner. Today, like every other day, we forget about them.
Am I Ever Going To See Your Face Again - The Angels
It is up to you if you want to sing the alternate chorus, but the message is clear, we will not see your face again.
All I Do Is Win - DJ Khaled
Make no mistake about it, this is our anthem for today, because we do nothing but WIN at life.
Never Be Like You - Flume
If you still have an ex-partner on social media and they decide to post some garbage about their new flame, remember, they will never be like you.
We Like To Party - Vengaboys
While all those couples are tied down with their commitments, we get to party without any consequence. Who is the real winner here?