Nicknames, a proud Aussie institution sure to draw a laugh

MY younger brother has a nickname that has stuck so fast most people don't even know his real name and even his mother calls him by his epithet "Nuts".

Bradley is his given name but, having suffered from the birth defect ranga-ism from his birth, he was always know as Red Nuts, which was later shortened to Nuts.

So, for some reason, more than likely because of my brother, I have always been interested in good nicknames and since moving to the Southern Downs I have realised we have coined some of the best.

Our hooker Darren was known as "Showbags" because he was so full of S&^%.

I met a bloke shortly after I arrived called "Fruit Fly" so I had to ask one of his mates how he come to embellish this unique moniker.

"Mate, when he was younger, he was fantastic with the ladies and the fruit fly can get into any box so we coined him that," his mate replied in a bit more colourful language.

My dad talks about an old jockey in the 1970s they called "Autumn Leaves", because he always fell to the ground, and his mate they called "The Clock" because he lost a few figures on one hand in an accident at the saw mill (big hand, little hand).

My old under 18s footy team had the usual "Chook", "Stork" and "Head" but we had a few unique ones. Our hooker Darren was known as "Showbags" because he was so full of S&^% and our front rower, Dave, was always called "Labrador" because he was always bludging on the blind.

Sometimes if a family member is given a nickname, it's then compulsory for the rest of the family to have one.

My best mate, Pete, is known as "240" because he's a massive man and his bathroom scales only go up to 240kg.

His brother is known as "Hasselhoff" because he joined the local surf club.

Brother three is known as "Artificial" because rest of the boys are over six foot and he is short so he must have been conceived by artificial insemination and the last brother is "Chuck" because he was a kickboxing champion

One of the greatest nicknames of all time comes from former Manly and Newtown fullback Phil Sigsworth who was coined "What's a Packet of" and Newcastle forward Matt Hilder that was known as "Waltzing".

So I put it out there, if you have a mate with the best nickname of all time, give me a call at the office or send me an email and I'll include it in the next couple of weeks .



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