REVEALED: Warwick’s most shameless Tinder profiles
With Valentine's Day just around the corner, it seemed like the obvious time to delve back into the funny and sometimes strange pool of Warwick's cockiest Tinder profiles.
When I first moved to the Rose City nearly a year ago as a city-raised, beer-hating vegetarian who knows all of two country songs, my hopes for romance were never exactly high.
As much as I love Warwick, the seeming lack of common interests made me far less confident than my family, friends, and even new co-workers in me finding myself a possible 'Farmer Wants a Wife' scenario.
After several months of being proven right, the lead-up to February 14 felt like the right time to set up a Tinder account and see who's out there (on our readers' behalf, of course).
Pushing through the overwhelming number of pigging and fishing pictures and brazen pick-up lines, the past few days on the dating app have been entertaining to say the least.
Without further ado, here are the most shameless Tinder profiles in Warwick:
Well Shane, I'm sure no one's ever accused you of lacking self-confidence.
Please believe me when I say I appreciate a good pun as much as anyone else. Whether we need three meat references and a winking face in your Tinder bio is another matter, I think.
I appreciate you keeping it short and simple, Kieran, but I have to say this one leaves a little bit to be desired. In particular - how does one tie shoelaces professionally?
I must admit, "fully vaccinated" is an impressive selling point in 2021. Funny how a global pandemic changes your dating perspective.
Cows, cows, and … riding cows? You seem to be a man of few words, Luke, so I'm doing my best to interpret the limited emojis you've offered up instead.
As much as I love the strong country theme, I think your bio may be proof that you actually can leave too much to the imagination on Tinder.
Another true-blue country bloke looking to keep it simple, Zane seems to be chasing a girl ready for a life on the farm by day and the pub by night. All valid choices, don't get me wrong.
I do have to wonder whether there are quicker ways for you to open a farm gate or get a drink than searching for your country "Tinder-ella", but far be it from me to judge.
"My ideal date would be going to Bunnings on a weekend and getting a snag and drink."
As much as I appreciate the simple things in life, I have a feeling it may take a bit more than a Bunnings feed to win your lucky lady over.
I am slightly concerned about getting "the whole kit and kaboodle" this early on. Nothing worse than an over-promiser and underdeliver.
I did like whales, Kane. I did.
You've achieved so much with such a short and descriptive pick-up line. None of it good.
A true testament to the apparent power of song, Tom has instead chosen to let his Spotify anthem in Trey Lewis' "D---ed Down in Dallas" do the wooing for him.
While I'm more than willing to be introduced to the world of country music, I'm not sure this is exactly what I (or anyone else) had in mind.
What a charmer our Josh seems to be. The job description, the lowbrow pick-up … it's all just a lot.
Can't say your overuse of tongue-themed emojis is helping your case, but everyone makes mistakes, right?
Not sure it gets any more straightforward than "let a fat f - k smash", and I have to admit Tyson's KFC-themed analogy wins points for both humour and originality.
Definitely had a good laugh at this one! I couldn't help but notice you used 'smash' twice, though. Which is possibly twice more than you should have.
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