Lifestyle

They're off with the pixels

GOVERNMENTS are set to approve the use of new technology that allows people to blur their faces in public to avoid being recognised or recorded by spy cameras.

The revolutionary device allows humans to go into "pixilation mode" with the flick of a switch when they are out in public. Another switch will allow them to disguise their voices, replacing their normal tone with a voice akin to the Doctor Who Daleks.

The move will help media outlets comply with privacy laws that prevent them identifying criminals, relatives, people charged with particular offences, elite soldiers, spies, people filmed without permission, welfare cheats in government-supplied footage, children who aren't in US beauty pageants and licence plates.

The new technology creates a pixilation field in front of a human face that leaves their features blurred and fairly freaky looking.

Approval of the technology came hot on the heels of mega website YouTubed allowing its videos to be automatically pixilated to avoid chronic international embarrassment for people who upload really bad songs.

Privacy expert Ben Sleuth said humans were now constantly tracked by public cameras, GPS on their phones, monitoring of their social media accounts and stalkers, so it was inevitable they would find ways to avoid surveillance.

"We are finally saying that we are proud individuals and we demand our right to stand up and be counted in a blurred and anonymous fashion," he said. "In a world starved of privacy, pixilation is the new black."

Social commentator Bernard Sykes said the pixilation technology was the beginning of the era of the generic human being.

"It seems that the only way we will be able to protect our identities is to have a generic blurred face, to dress like everybody else and to all use Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie as our Facebook profile picture," he said.

"Eventually we will learn to talk the same and people of both sexes will all be named Sandy."

Children's watchdog groups said they were concerned that children might be traumatised by seeing pixilated faces in the street and start having bad dreams.

A government spokesperson said the government was not concerned about this.

"Frankly it's time the little buggers manned up and got off the couch and played in the dirt," he said.

"The clear message from this government is toughen up."

Thirsty Cow is fiction. It should not be confused with real life, real issues or getting real.

 

>> To read more lifestyle stories

Topics:  humour lifestyle opinion security technology thirsty cow



Warwick community worker honoured with selection

Nathanial Leigh.

Mr Leigh, 20, is one of 14 batonbearers to be selected

All ready to go for Rodeo week

NSW rider Ben Maytom won second-division saddle bronc at the Warwick Rodeo.

Warwick Rodeo and Campdraft week now just four sleeps away.

The terrifying and dangerous aftermath of child sex abuse

Kerri Moore.

Child molesters should be treated with utmost severity by the law

Local Partners

Recipes from the Andes give a culinary high

Chef Martin Morales celebrates his love of the Andes, its dishes, ingredients, people and culture in his latest cookbook, Andina

UPDATE: Family says Coen 'never wasted a single day'

Seventeen and loving life - double lung transplant recipient, Coen Ashton, is venturing in to public speaking. Riverside Christian College students were the first school to hear Coen sharing his life experiences.Photo: Valerie Horton / Fraser Coast Chronicle

The 20-year-old has died in hospital in Melbourne.

Unsuspecting woman bares all in ‘see-through’ leggings

Total bummer ... Kimberley Williams discovered that her new Puma workout tights were completely see-through in certain light. Picture: Guzelian

"Do you booty test your items before they hit the stores?"

O Project: Photographer captures women’s orgasm face

'The O Project' by photographer Marcus Alberti captures women's expressions during an orgasm. Woman who is always on the brink of an orgasm

Marcos Alberti’s latest work is suitably dubbed “O Project”

Owner of barking dog beaten with axe handle

Emlyn Anthony Moses - charged with assault occasioning bodily harm.

Man beat dog owner with axe handle and punched him in the face

Leonardo da Vinci's works coming to Toowoomba

Residents get chance to delve into mind of the great man